Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Checking off the bucket list

Bucket list item:  Investment horse

What's an even worse financial decision than buying a horse for your personal enjoyment?  I think any financial advisor would tell you that is the concept of an investment horse, whereby your expenses and purchase price are LESS than the money you sell said animal for.  Despite finding four leaf clovers on the daily**, I have yet to win the lottery, so I figured chipping in on an investment horse would at least be a more enjoyable way to watch my money cease to exist.  I hate to jinx it but... I bought a teeny tiny part of a horse with Paige and she is uh-mazing.  Meet Solana.  And her freaking incredible hind end.

She is all of four years old and this was her first show where she marched around like a champion, walked the lines quietly and stood like an old pro in the trailer.  Paige gave her five days off a few weeks ago and she was lovely.  She is a phenomenal mover and I pretty much need to go to Virginia ASAP to sneak in a ride because yes, she is so easy that even I am allowed to ride her.  I think.  I mean, I know she is that easy, but I don't know if we want to junk up her fabulosity with my... certain je ne sais quoi style of riding.  Should I indeed win the lottery (hint hint, universe), she will be the first thing I acquire with my proceeds.  The second thing will be a tiny giraffe.
Bucket list item:  Aggressive fashion choices
Quick, what are the three acceptable colors for horse items?  If you guessed black, white and sometimes navy, then DING DING DING, you are a winner.  Lately I am breaking all the fashion rules (I mean, besides wearing riding attire to work, and the dog park, and the grocery store) and really going bananas.  And you know what?  I have some new favorite things.  These include:
-Short sleeve show shirts.  I still feel a bit like Mike Bolton from Office Space, but guess what?  Short sleeves are literally cooler than long sleeves, and I feel pretty confident about my usage of the word "literally."
-Shirts that have colors besides white.  My little Alessandro Albanese number that I got on clearance at WEF makes me feel like the horse show version of Donatella Versace which is simultaneously hilarious and empowering.  Lean in, indeed.  Plus Paige has one too and someday we will twin.  Perhaps this fall at a hunter pace?  Matching outfits count as a costume, no?
-The Argentinian Mane Bang.  This only sounds like an act from "50 Shades of Gray" and in fact refers to the perfectly manicured jumper mane.  It requires a Goldilocks-esque mane that is neither too thin nor too thick, that is then trimmed to an even length via clippers run across the bottom.  It also requires a steady hand and knowing when to say when.  I am working on those things.  Restraint is not my forte. That said, my mane bang game has been pretty on-point and when the day comes that I have to pull his mane for a hunter derby, my carpal tunnel and I will both be sad.
Please ignore the sad face on the rider.  He's a German Grand Prix rider that came over to help out while my trainer is out of the saddle, and clearly he is having a moment of realization he is on a baby thoroughbred at an unrated show rather than where he belongs.
We've actually done two horse shows recently with good results.  Those are our last shows for 2015, most likely, so we'll go ahead and save those stories for the long, cold days ahead.



  1. I love the Argentinian Mane Bang. i wish I could do it on my horse, but his mane resembles an electric shock victim (i.e. too wild and wooley to pull off this look).

    1. Thanks! Tucker has the most weightless hair on earth - it flies straight up over fences. The Cowboy Magic gel detangler does really well on quieting down the super crazy stuff so if you aren't braiding, give that a try!

  2. Yay I love that Solana finally made an appearance! I also LOL'd at the section on your 'wild' fashion choices.

  3. Way to live it up! I love experimenting with horse hair styles. It totally makes up for the fact that I average less than one haircut every two years since becoming an adult.

    PS Breeches are a fashion statement.

    1. I now have to dye my hair maybe 3-4 times a year to cover the horrifying amount of greys... but I'm sure I spend less on that than I do at SmartPak in say, two months!

  4. i need a tiny giraffe in my life too! also Solana is lovely!